I Do. He Does. We did.

This was it! The chairs were filled with loved ones. The special hearts that have made the trek to be here. I was honored to be surrounded among my family and friends. Dad, in his marine baseball cap duo flip shades and aloha shirt, put his arm out for me. Now when I prefaced "casual" to dad, I didn’t mean homestyle comfortable! Geeze! He might as well been in his pajamas! Anyway, it was too late to fuss. I could hear the two piece acoustic band singing in angelic tones. I grabbed his arm and began walking down the sand. Heads turned and my heart was as calm as a ball of yarn. I promised myself that I would not cry through my ceremony for fear of freakish streak of mascara. The love and generosity in the warm air was thrilling. Nature was cohesive with the event. The wind, the trees, the ocean were in rhyme.

The ceremony was as I imagined. It was simply stunning. The ceremony was flawless. Honestly, it was all that mattered. At that moment, it wasn't the dress, or the hair, moreover not even the fake boobies or even the food! The ceremony and the ohana (spirit of family) were the vital elements to the beauty of this new beginning.

During the ceremony, our lives united as one. It was in the air. We were truly blessed by nature and the love from the island. This is why we didn't elope. This is why we didn't settle for the quick Las Vegas or City Hall, it was too sterile. Too cold. It is with the presence of our loved ones and intentions that have traveled here to bear witness, to be able to share the importance of this unique fusion, that made our wedding absolutely and utterly "magical".

I could indulge in the strength of my vow and how I bawled like a baby as I fought every word from quivering, but that’s all that you’ll get out of me. Smile.

I laughed. I cried. I, especially, rejoiced on this special day. This is Shellie coming to you live from the last leg of her wedding journey. I have enjoyed the hellish path to this heavenly moment. Now let's pop open the champagne, kick off our heels, shake our romps, because the Kitchens have arrived. This is Shellie Kitchen coming to you live from cloud nine, back to you Bob at the studio.

Please stay tuned for the new show Kitchenville, after these messages from our sponsers.

The Ceremony Details

I would like to peruse through bits and pieces of the ceremony that truly left me in awe. Shane and I stood in the center of the lei circle as the minister proceeded with the ceremony.

…Marriage will offer great opportunities for the expansion of love in mind, body and spirit. It is the couple who perseveres and demonstrates patience, faith, trust and respect for one another that elevates this union into an enduring form of deep inner happiness and bliss. Find room for the essence of Spirit and let your search for the good and beautiful in all things be a unified one.

You have planted seeds of light and hope, you have tended the gardens of your heart with reverence and care, and your lives are richly blessed with the abundance of the fruits of joyful works together.

Let this be a promise to one another, not to take for granted the sacred gift of your union, to openly cherish all you grow through and to embrace what is to come with the calm certainty that this is your heart's path and destiny.

This marriage needs to be seen clearly, it is not like a weld between two metals that can be done once and be expected to last forever. Marriage is alive and needs to be nurtured. It is more akin to planting two trees close together, at first you need to shelter them from the elements and in time their roots take firm hold of the earth and intertwine to grow together. From above the ground there will be the appearance of two individual beings, all of your gifts, your skills and talents will serve to make the other more beautiful as well. Yet nothing will affect either of you without affecting the other, for unseen beneath the surface you are joined now as one. May you move and grow with one movement.

You have arrived at the threshold of a new beginning, please turn and face one another and look into each other's eyes... For all the words and ritual of this ceremony can only point at the essence of your love, which is beyond description... close your eyes and go within....

Let the well-worn trails fall behind, shields can be dropped, for they are useless in times of peace. True love is here and you stand in its sacred midst together. You are here to demonstrate how love has blessed your lives, to express the calm certainty and ease that you feel. That you have found rest in your love and that the way to renewal is simply by loving each other whole-heartedly. That this love is the foundation of all you hold as true and that it is the source of your brightest horizons together.

Now open your eyes and see with your hearts... “

He than proceeded Shane to cleanse my hand in ocean water that sat in an abalone shell. This symbolized that in order to move into the future, we must all forgive each other of anything in the past. I followed with the same process.

We were than instructed to touch foreheads and let the love and energy flow throughout. The minister than instructed the guests to remove their sunglasses and look us in the eye so we could share each and everyone of them with the strength in love and the future.


He than proceeded with the Hawaiian Water Sharing Ritual
The water sharing ritual is performed following the exchange of wedding vows and rings. It symbolizes the re–newed birth of the couple as unified in love. The sharing represents the continual nurturing, support, and loving care you affirm at this time as partners for life.

The coconut represented the tree of life for island people, the one plant that provided food, shelter, clothing, building and weaving material, and the purest of water. Two coconut trees were planted for every child that was born to ensure they would always have enough. So it is that your love and union is what sustains you with all that you truly need in life.

The minister breaks open the coconut, like the new egg opening, as your joyous life together is launched. The groom first takes the opened nut and pours some on the ground for both of your ancestors, all teachers and guides who have brought you to this moment, and for all those loved ones not here in person yet truly with us in spirit. He then gives some for the bride to drink and be nourished. She then takes the bowl and gives some to her husband to drink. She completes the ritual by pouring the rest on the ground for all that will come to follow and grow from this union, children, ideas, all creativity born from this spark. This sets up the lineage of honoring the past, standing fully in the present, and being farsighted with your horizons.

The ceremony was closed with a Hawaiian Blessing:
May your union be realized
As the sharing of your wholeness.
A place where your childlike spirits are renewed,
Where your faith in love is restored,
Where your link with the greatness of Spirit
Is remembered.
Let it be the haven of peace,
The safe harbor for trust,
The wellspring of joy,
The foundation of all you hold as true.

Ho'okahi naau, Ho'okahi mana o'lana,
Ho'okahi malamalama, Ho'okahi 'oiai'o,
Ho'okahi ola, Ho'okahi 'oli 'oli,
E kahe pu ana, e ulu pu ana,
Mai ke kumu ho'okahi mai.
One heart, one hope,
One light, one truth,
One life, one joy,
Flowing together, growing together,
From a single source.

Fill your hearts with beauty, and beauty will come to you.

Final Countdown

Jeanie, insisted that I get in my dress, meanwhile the mother of the groom was not present. She was driving a drill up my butt. To add worse to worry, I was unsure that this dress would fit. The former visit to my families, was not a smart move. I ate more rice than a village of chinese people. Plus, I had my plastic adhesive boob cutlets...you know...ahem...to lift and fluff. Everything about me was “fake”! My hair. My makeup. My eyelashes! My boobs! What a flop! I was truly dissapointed in myself.

Honestly, I loathed my make up!! I could scream from the top of my lungs. My foundation was cake. My eyes weren't compelling, on the contrary, it was boring. I was browless. My lipstick color was nude. I was very blah! I was contemplating on rinsing this schlack off my face and start all over. Why didn’t I just do it myself? I’m damn decent with makeup. Grr. I’m a lot better than this so called "artist".

Back to the game plan, the three bridesmaids struggled to squeeze me into the dress. No one could figure out the straps, zippers and gadgets. "We can't zip it!" Chris replied. I quickly plunged my hand down my chest to rid myself of these silicone boobs. I couldn't stand them anyway. They were driving me nuts! The dress zipped snug. Phew. I was afraid. Very afraid that this sausage casing of a dress was going to tear at the seams!

“Hurry, hurry!” Jeanie began to rush incessantly, “the guests are seated in the hot sun and the groomsmen are waiting.” Um, that’s why I bought Chinese parasols and fans you jackass? Fuck the groomsmen! Should I fake a nervous breakdown just to buy me some time? Nah, I didn't have the drive for that type of drama, besides I was ready anyway.

So I rushed down on heels. I know, how retarded! Heels in sand, what a mental concept. Hey, the sand was a scorcher and I wanted to look a smidge taller for the "photos". There I go again on the photo binge. I strolled by the reception tent with the red Chinese and Japanese lanterns. It looked cool! The bartenders and the servers wished me well. The guests sipped their guava mimosas.

So let's get this accident on the road!

Synchronized Exhale

It is noon, and I can't get myself out of this deep blue. I was too calm for such a life changing event. Was I covering my panic with delightful bouts of swimming? I am not sure, all I was certain of is that the ceremony starts in an hour and a half and here I am playing in the water with the rest of the wedding party. Like other brides, I wanted to be fashionably late.

I left the water and rinsed off at the outdoor shower. Everyone was at my beck and call, it was surreal and dreamy. Laurie ran to get my shampoo and conditioner. Angela laughed at my casual behavior. See, if you haven't showered in the outdoors, you feel one with nature! Than it hit me, this was it! This was my last hour and half as a single person. I was letting it sink in once and for all. Letting the water rinse me of all of my anxious worries. Honestly, it was scary, but I think I was more excited than anything.

In the midst of my shower...in my bathing suit, soggy flip flops, soapy head and filth foam at my feet, I decided that I would right my vows! Ding!!!!! So I tipped my sister off to let Shane know. Shane, on the otherhand, might not agree with my decision.

The hair and makeup woman began working on my hair. Meanwhile, my assistant tried to make sure I was on the smooth. On the same vein, everyone and their dog kept checking in to see, if I was okay. I assure you, if I wasn’t, my random bald patches would be apparent. Instead, I was in heaven with a chilled glass of champagne and as long as they kept the shots of chilled Don Julio coming, it was all smoothicity from here.

Jeanie, my wedding coordinator, kept bugging me to hurry. I’ve never been on time for anything and you’d better bet your bare ass on a hot penny that I wasn’t going to be punctual to my own wedding. I mean that would defy the theory of gravity? She kept insisting that we be ready by one thirty. I kept insisting that she back off, before I put a stop payment on that check, godamnit.

My makeup woman who specialized in photos, didn’t specialize in the power of sunlight. She kept insisting that photos was the only document to remember this moment. Listen, I caught her drift, but I didn’t want to be remembered as the bride with ten inches of makeup. Eew! Plus, Shane loathed makeup, and he wouldn’t be too thrilled with the muck on my face. Stupid photos!

Along with my pile of makeup on my face, there was other evil to deal with at hand; my snakes. My head topped with hot rollers, I was reluctant that my hair would hold up with the goop, guck and sleek she put in. I advised that she not put so much product on my hair, as it tends to weigh it down. Nope! Dr. Frankenstein, went ahead with her bad ass deaf ears. Don’t you think that I, out of everyone, would know best about my hair? It seemed that everything was not as expected, but hey what could I do? I had to just go with the flow of madness.

Good Morning

My eyes opened and the slats of the vertical blinds opened to clear blue sunny skies! It was 7:15am as Shane cuddled me. I had a date with a yoga instructor at 7:30am on the beach. Jill and Angela-for the first time in centuries was prompt-were waiting in the living room with their game face on.

The weather was all aces! The sound of the waves crashed hard, as we stretched and meditated on the beach. If you haven't been to Kauai, it's like nature is trying to tell you something. Like how the waves seem to smoothly rise tall and crash hard, as if anticipating the celebration. Look, there's one thing that I'm not is a granola nature skippin' and lovin' hippie, BUT this island makes you weep on the inside. Everything from the sand, the trees, the sun, the sky, the birds, the stray dogs all seem to express their blessing.

There is nothing like calming the nerves than yoga on a beautiful beach. It made the experience exhilarating and exciting. As we were instructed to touch our hands to our ankles ahem...Utthita Trikonasana, extended triangle pose, I observed Cliff about seventy five feet back with his video camera. Later, he said he wanted to capture the serenity of the morning, but we all knew he was filming the hot young babe we had as a yoga instructor. Tsk, tsk, greasy boy.

Everything from hereonin had to be absolute. I was looking forward to some light, fluffy eggs and Portuguese sausage and driving it down with a glass of mimosa. Well, the refrigerator was absent of eggs and sausage. Rule number one, I must have eggs to eat eggs.

Meanwhile, Shane had rallied his groomsmen to go to the store. The contract for our bar did not include top shelf liquor. If you know our friends, than you know how they appreciate only the top notch for their poison. I did not have anything better to do, so I decided to go shopping for eggs with Jill. Well that short grocery list turned into an hour long. When it comes to low blood sugar, I am illogical and irrational, which dug me deeper into the trenches of trouble. I had to have my fluffy eggs gosh darnit! Scramble. Fluff. Chomp. Swig. I was done with my breakfast and ready to jump into the ocean for one last swim.

Yet, back at the Batman Cave my hair and makeup person was due ala uno minuto. I advised my hair and makeup team to grab a glass of wine or beer if they preferred, because I was going to take a quick dip in that deep blue. I didn’t specify on whether it was “filipino” style minutes or “caucasion” standard minutes. I left that to interpretation.

The water enveloped me like warm blue silk. It cradled me in the warm sun. The wedding party swam to the gentle pacific current. This was tranquil, in fact it was too calm. As I floated along the waves, I noticed the staff began to setup the chairs for the ceremony on the beach. I spotted my wedding coordinator with one hand on her hip and the other hand at her brow, trying to target my whereabouts. Angela and I laughed like schoolgirls cutting class, because she’s been trying to get me out of the water for some time now. “You have five more minutes honey.” Shane reminded me as we laughed in the water. It was nice to be surrounded by ones with only good intentions for a successful life long journey.

Heavenly!

Steven buzzed my cell like a collection agency out for blood. Hot dog on a stick let me breath for a secundo! He was concerned, because he felt the house was not up to code. He proceeded to say that a couple of the jealousy windows were damaged and the hot tub was full of sludge water. He rambled something about it being on a Hawaiian homestead. Future nervous breakdown number six, here I come!

As Shane and I drove up the dirt road, there a sand pit sat in the middle of the dirt road. We quickly plowed through the sand pit with our trendy SUV with no fret. The dirt road was lined with plumeria trees, chicks, hens, and mock orange bushes. My childhood memories began to flow throughout me. Great memories of times long ago. Rustic. This is excactly as I imagined, something off the beaten path! Excellent so far! The end of the road was met with a white sand beach. According to the contract, the house was described as the last house on the right. I guess this must be it. Aghast! From the outside, it looks promising! The front exterior of the house was outrageous! The black lava rock walls widened into a gate entry way. On each side of the front yard stood majestic coconut trees scaled with a a front porch. From the front door you could see past the living room out the back to the beach. There were eight bedrooms and eight bathrooms and outside showers for most of the rooms! How dare they describe this as a house, it was a home!

This spot was absolutely remarkable! We couldn’t believe our eyes, just like I dreamed. The backyard sprouted tall coconut trees, skirted with bushes and hens and chicks that pecked the lawn. This large yard overlooked the breathtaking perfect blue ocean. I couldn't believe my eyes, my ears and the smell of the ocean wafting and swirling around me. This is perfect. It couldn't get any better than this. I stood there at the top of the backyard anticipating the festivities and the love that would overflow in this special spot in the upcoming days. I was so overwhelmed that I was afraid my chest would explode.

This is Shellie cradled by the warm luxury waves of the heavenly ocean, back to you Bob, Suckah!

Love is in the air!!!

We were leaving for our trip to Kauai. I’m stolked that Steven, my sixth brother, will be traveling with us until his family arrives this Friday. There is much catching up to do.

As I sit on the plane, the buzz in the air begins to amplify. I take a deep breath and exhale, I’m five days away from being a married woman. Steven, who travels as much as the moon is square, keeps tapping me on the shoulder at the sight of Oahu from the plane. I, of course, plead for rest during this ten minute flight. I'm jealous, because narcoleptic Shane had beat me to the punch. As soon as we land, we would hit the ground for further dashing about errands.

Jeanie picked us up and greeted me and Shane with leis. Finally, a face with a name! I’ve been corresponding with her for the past four months. She took us over to get our paperwork and licensing ready for Saturday. It was just another step closer to taking the official plunge. Gulp. Shard.

This is Shellie in her hula skirt bidding you aloha nui loa, back to you Bob at the studio.

Local Kine Grindz!

Shane and Kyle have had their shirts off for three days now. I never thought that I would see the day when Shane would stroll around the island with no t-shirt. Eye huccum, eh brah I tink I one local boy ludhat! (translation: I, think I'm a local boy!)

The party thrown by my family was a gas! It was a blast watching Eroll hack that roasted pig to pieces. Chris mentioned that it is rare for a mainlander, Kyle and Shane, to experience a hawaiian local style party; the aloha spirit. She was right, most mainlanders that visit Oahu relate to the tourist aspect such as Waikiki, Kailua or Lanikai. The party consisted of first to fifth generation. Pretty amazing!

Let's see...how do I describe the Cadelinia family. We are a close bunch of boisterous jokester types. You are able to gauge our love by the degree of hoax we play on you. To welcome Shane into the family they disguised the pig's brain as a filipino tradition for a groom to consume. We reinforced the tradition by describing it as a delicacy. Shane started to chew with a very disgusted look on his face. My family maintained a straight face, but behind our stern faces were smiles and laughter ready to bust. By the look Shane, the peer pressure was high, was surrounded by a bunch of tall brown local boys with arms crossed over their chests and round bellies. Shane calmly inquires, "What part of the pig is this?" Darrell, my brother, puts his hand to his crotch. Shane spits the brain from his mouth and shakes his head. We all shudder with laughter and than he is appraoched with hugs and pats on the back. We ease his worry by telling him it was just the brain of the pig.

It has been too long and I’m getting too old, for I can’t remember the names to faces of my relatives. I remembered a few of my first cousins, but other than that I kept mom at my side as my PR person. Actually, mom and dad, paraded Shane and I around like spreading their peacock tail. I could see the sparkle of proud in their eyes and upright shoulders.

We thank our relatives and friends for coming as they wish us well in our future together.

Graceful

My brother Errol is orchestrating the whole party for us on Sunday. He is cooking the food for the one hundred guests. If you haven’t been to a local party, it’s an experience to behold. Erroll cooks the food outside in an industry sized wok. When I say cook, I mean back to back fry, saute and boil for a straight ten hours. He has mastered the art of cooking huge events, because he’s been doing it for at least ten years. Despite that, his cooking is superb.

We drive back to our hotel from Ziarra's barbeque. Shane, as usual, get him in a moving vehicle and he passes out like a newborn baby. Meanwhile, Kyle is fiddling with something in the backseat. I think he's going on about the zipper on his backpack being broken. As I drive East towards Diamond Head, the bright stars and the bold mountains scale the night sky and all I feel is special. Special to be here. Special to be with the people that I love.

I'm touched with tears, because my family is working hard to make our stay here special and comfortable. They made certain that Shane and Kyle feel at home. My brothers jest with them as if they were childhood friends. This is one of the charms of my family. Their kindness is obscenely beautiful. It’s been a treasure being with my family.

I can’t wait for my friends and Shane’s family to meet the Cadelinia’s. This is Shellie getting choked up over let's just call it pure love, back to you Bob at your fogy tv studio.

Hawaiian style brah

One thing about visiting my family is that it gets really hectic. Who to see first. I really wanted to stop by the cemetery to visit lola and auntie Evangelina, but we were all the way in Waikiki and we had to get to mom’s before she starts to worry. Plus, I had to be back in Waikiki that evening, because the girls (including inlaws) were throwing me a bachelerette party. We’re do I start?

Another traveling ritual. As soon as we land before we do any visiting, we stop over to Zippy’s to get a plate lunch. Zippy’s is the McDonald’s version of local style food. I was craving my zip pac which is a bento with mahi-mahi, spam, fried chicken, teri beef, and a scoop of rice. I couldn’t help myself! I know I should watch what I eat, but I couldn’t resist it was calling my name.

Long story short, saw my mom and was heading back to Waikiki. So far, we have:

Friday night:
bachelor party for Shane hosted by my brothers
bachelorette party for me hosted by my sisters and sister in law

Saturday:
Ziarra, my neice, second birthday barbeque on the beach all day event

Sunday:
Party for us, hosted by my family, approximately 100pp rsvp

Monday:
Sydney, my ten year old niece’s birthday

Tuesday:
We leave for Kauai…that’s when the vacation starts

Can you keep up? Yes, it’s a whirlwind event and my neck and shoulders are starting to tighten.

Good to be Home

There’s a special thing about Hawaii’s local people. They are proud of their local “pidgin” language. Pidgin, not the bird, is dedicated to those who want to feel the essence of true Hawaii. Pidgin in Hawaii is a sort of Hawaiian Slang-lish. It is peppered with Hawaiian words. For a mainlander it can be a real challenge to understand, but for those who live here, it is a part of island life.

Living in the mainland for so long, I felt fake trying to speak it to the locals. I felt some weird superficial transcluncency occurring. Anyway, I’m trying to convince Shane to speak pidgin at Alamo car rental so the woman would upgrade us no problem. Shane pointed the trigger to me. You should do it. Your from here. So I proceeded, “eh, how much cust fo upgrade to one suv?” The customer service woman knew right away, she had a live one. She smiled and offered, us the top suv onhand for an extra twenty bucks. Score! I responded, “oh, we go take’m den.” I was in. It was a homerun.

It was good to be home on the island.

Can't wait to go home!

Just in case your having a destination wedding, traveling with your wedding dress is a real: bee eye tee see eightch. Well I’m usually the shortest one in the bunch, unless I’m hanging out with midgets, so the dress bag was a literal drag. It was difficult, and trying, at times to transport this dress that is twice the size of me vertically. Why is my sweetie not helping? He and Kyle were too occupied slaving over two cases of decent wine as their carry on luggage.

After the hubbub fizzled, we finally boarded the plane. I could not wait to get in my seat and pass out. Rejuvenate. I was on my way to see my family first. I couldn’t wait to see my family. Still, there was a haze of anxiety about me, because it was my family.

Did you know that most airlines don’t offer a deck of cards, pillows and sometimes blankets? Forget about a free, snack and meal? It’s all in the past. History. Finished. Forget about it. Well, unless your flying Hawaiian or Aloha Air, where the “aloha” way is to fly and get fed. I was on America Air, where the American way is to pay for your snack and meals. Snookered again! Snookered moreover by the movie, Kid’s from New York’s barrios competing to win in this dance contest. I was triple juxed on American Air.

Kyle busted his prehistoric CD player. Of course, Shane and I tried our best to make him feel uncomfortablly outdated by nonchalantly loudly, “Is that a Compact Disc Player? That is so like, 1990’s. How pedestrian.” I, on the otherhand, was enjoying the convenience of a shuffle on my IPod, until Shane wanted to share the headphones. Split headphones? Talk about retarded. Anyway, I knew within a song or two that he would spit on my music preference. There he goes rambling about my music, so his side of the headphone was confiscated.

It was lights out for Shane, it was drool central. I advised Kyle to get his camera out, because within ten minutes we would have drool. Since I traveled with blue, my stuffed blue dog, I directed Kyle to, “roll the tape.” We made a little film of blue traipsing (and other tasteful adult acts) all over Shane. Yes, it was totally preschool humor, but it was better than the movie that was playing on that trinket they call a monitor.

Shane and Kyle began their vacation with cocktails: jack and coke. Anyway, after two cocktails they began their journey to get more doltish than rowdy. Kyle removes my engagement ring and stuffs it in his nose. They both laugh. I, of course, refuse to wear the ring. Ewk, it’s probably covered with Kyle’s harmful microscopic macabre mud he calls booger. So we go through the motions of bickering. Shane pleads for me to put the ring back on. I refuse until it is sterile and clean. He demonstrates that he has rinsed it in alcohol (his drink), therefore, it is clear of anything Kyle. I make him prove it, by making him lick the diamond. He cringes for a half second and proves his love. I can't believe he licked the ring, even if it was filthy, I was committed to wear the ring.

"Ding." The gentle sound to buckle our seat belts. "We will be making our descent for Honolulu. It is a warm eighty three degrees with a gentle breeze of five miles per hour. We appreciate you flying with us and we hope to see you soon."

Touch down! I was glad that we made it safely. I could see the palm trees swaying greeting me back home.

Up, up and away!!!!

The alarm blares and I get up instantly, because this is one day that allowed not a mere mention of the word lollygag. I get up and take a shower. As the water hits the top of my head, down my face, shoulders, back and down my legs, I’m trying to gather a list of things to pack, but that doesn’t help because the hot water is so relaxing at four thirty something in the morning. I mean, I could plug the tub and run a bubble bath right now and have a Calgon moment. No! I can’t! I need to focus on the big picture. So with great loathing, I force myself out of the shower, put my pajamas back on and begin to pack.

Shane, the night before, thought it would be realistic to share one medium size luggage. Does this boy not realize, that we’re getting married? I have to stuff that luggage with useful items like nine pairs of heels, fifteen miniskirts, eight dresses, one pair of jeans, two pairs of slacks, ten to fifteen tanktop and t-shirts, perfume, makeup, lotions…I know that’s just like a third of what I need, but a girl shall always have her way. This was no time for jokes, but he was not joking. He thought it would be absurd, because each time we’ve traveled, we always shared a luggage. Well not today sister! We’re going away for almost three weeks, go stuff a turkey boy!

I don’t know, if it’s all girls or just me, but…with precision I end up wearing a tenth of my wardrobe that I brought on a trip. It just relieves me to know that if we decide to go to a disco that I have a classy ball gown to fall back on. Okay I’m rambling…

So the boys eventually wake up and Shane’s ready to go. Sometimes, I’d like to throw a bucket of water on him to see if he’ll short circuit. He lectures me about not packing the night before, and I advise him that I already have a father. I realize that I forgot my sage yoga bag which is a requirement when traveling. This bag is cozy at the bottom of the trunk of my car which is parked at the base of twin peaks which is an inconvenient eight minute cab ride from home. Phew.

Shane, the great love of my life that he is, with no fret instructs both Kyle and I that upon his return we should be ready to go.

As I’m packing, I accidentally, key word accident, step on my earrings that I’m supposed to wear for the wedding. The sound “crack” crisp like a cracker instantly cringe my lower back. In my mindless scrambling, I already know what I had just done. What the hell was I going to do now? It took me forever to find these earrings, they were made in Morroco and worth no more than a whole five dollars? These earrings were kick’en! I dropped everything and called Jill via cell, since she was witness to this purchase. She could get another one. Jill punctually answered her phone at a few minutes before seven am and ensured me that it would absolutely be no problem. I was relieved, until Shane entered the front door yelling at me to, “hurry the f@ck up!” Kyle, bless his little kind heart, assisted me in zipping this titanic of a suitcase.

Than off we were being whisked in a taxi to the San Francisco Airport with not a shudder of reluctance.

Free Fall!

I finally completed this horrendous monster at one thirty in the morning. I finally finished this bitch of a slideshow. My eyes are heavy and tired, and I haven't even begun to pack. Shane is snoring in bed and Kyle passed out on the couch two hours ago. It's just me in the silence of this cozy bedroom trying to piece myself together. I know the only way to do that is to hit the sack, but I have to get these thoughts out before it leaves me restless. I'm dreading my flight, so this may be my last entry, but lets hope not. Yes, I am vulnerable to paranoia, it is almost two in the morning godamnit.

I set the alarm for four thirty in the morning, and I know that I will hit snooze at least three times. Let's just hope that I don't forget the essentials...like the wedding dress, before Shane rushes me out the door as usual. A usual travel ritual of ours, I pack two to three hours prior to leaving for the airport and he threatens me by calling a taxi. Consequently, forgetting a few key items.

Anyway, I'm wishing only the best and positive gooey fun for everyone. I hope that everyone falls in love with Kauai as much as I did, because there's no other island like it! I cross my fingers that everyone keeps safe, and I hope that all of this goes smooth as butter.

Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind --Dr. Seuss

This is Shellie trading her last braincell to type this last line, back to you Bob at the studio.

Let the Games Begin!

It's the day before we leave, and I'm scrambling around trying to put the finishing touches on the slideshow. The music has to be perfect. It has to be timed just so. I'm halfway through this slideshow and it's been keeping me up till the early morning for the past week.

I didn't make it to my hair stylist for a coloring appointment. I haven't started to pack, and couldn't fit in a mani-pedi. Jeanie, my wedding coordinator, keeps ringing my cellphone, and I just don't want to deal with her questions (even though she probably needs an immediate answer) right now so I let her go into voicemail, because I can always respond via email. I'm in a real shit right now! What did I do all day! I feel like I'm falling apart, but I tell myself it'll all be cool. At the same time, I am exhausted. Now, I have to schedule all of this in Hawaii which means it'll be twice the cost. My head is pounding, but I can stop thinking about a few nice cocktails to ease the stress.

Shane's in golden gate park playing disc golf with Kyle and Greg. Meanwhile, it feels like five minutes, but hours slip by. The sun is setting and I have not one thing checked on the list. Shane returns and is freaking out. He also requires a "to do" list. Maybe he should've thought about that before he went frolicking in the park with his family.

I pray that we have a safe flight tomorrow morning. As soon as we're on the plane, it'll be smooth sailing from there. In the past two years, I've acquired a fear of flying. Just another piece to this crazy beautiful puzzle.

This is Shellie sipping my third mojito cool and calm--thriving best in high pressured environment, back to you Bob at the studio.

Dressed to Kill

During my final dress fitting, I have managed to lose too much weight. This meant she had to stuff my top with a ten inch foam core (not really that thick, but it might as well be that thick) for shapely purposes. Now here’s where I find gripe. I don’t have boobs and therefore why would I want them in a wedding dress? My friends and family know that I was born ill equipped, so why would it make a difference now. She already advised that I purchase a pair of those plastic silicon sucker cutlet boob swingdings! Now a foam cup? Err!

As I drive away in my Honda, the sick feeling of what “was” a beautiful dress has now grown into disgust. I never thought that fashion would make me nautious.

This is Shellie with both hands on the neck of the ceramic bowl tossing her cookies, back to you Bob in the studio.

5-4-3-2-1 Blast off

My sister's family had left for Oahu last week. Kyle, Shane’s brother was flying in from New York this afternoon. Friends were flying in to Kauai this Saturday. Shane just called to say that his Uncle Mark and Aunt Kathy were in town.

Lately, our wedding has been the atom of conversations. I could feel the static in the air. The wedding was drawing near. I could sense the urge for celebration. A reason to drink, be merry and get drunk. I am so excited. I take a deep breath and quietly say to myself, these people are traveling to witness a once in a lifetime event so face it and envelope all of it’s goodness.

Seamless

I’ve managed to notify my employer that I won’t be able to come into work the day before leaving for Hawaii.

I had unimportant things to do like pick my dress up from my seamstress. Ah, the final fitting. A reoccurring nightmare: three fittings. After letting out the seams, I have managed to lose too much weight which meant that the seamstress would have it to the seams in again.

At thirty five dollars an hour, my seamstress was getting quite upset. Not because she was making money off of me. It’s because she sick of brides losing too much weight and wasting her efforts for perfection.

Karla, a Japanese woman, that’s been creating dresses for 25 years. She was the white ninja of seamstresses. Just by looking at me, she could sense bloating and PMSing. I was afraid to ask her how she knew this, I was afraid she would say, “Ancient chinese secret and stick a star blade in my jugular.”

My battle with weight loss, between the trainer and the steam room, who would’ve thought that losing too much weight could be expensive.

Sisters

With the busy lives that both my sisters lead, it was really special for Chris, the eldest, to find the time to make it special. For as much as we should make time for each other, excluding kids…you know sister to sister time? Most of the time, it never happens. My sister’s have their weekends planned for the next year. Between swimming classes, Tai Kwan Do lessons, Friends birthdays and such, they’re too busy chauffeuring, hustling, hosting and bustling their young ones around.

Chris made a reservation at LaBelle Spa downtown San Francisco for a facial and an hour and a half massage. Besides, the splendid spa time, it was a treat to hang out with my two sisters! I took them to Zuni’s for lunch and Jill met up with us there. It means a lot to me to show my sisters a good time. We slurped oysters and we sipped champagne and gossiped and giggled.

I’ve realized as you get older that time just whizzes by. I mean remember when you were a kid? Five minutes felt like 5 trillion years! Patience was painful. Now, five minutes feels like .005 seconds. Time flies when life’s a disco party.

Everytime we get together, we always cluck about how we should do this more often. I don’t know when we’ll ever get to do this again, but I promise that I’ll try harder to make time.

This is Shellie from the hearth of her heart, back to you Bob in that dank brick closet you call a studio.

Closer to fate!

Angela and KJ hosted a phatabulous engagement party the Saturday prior to our departure for blissville.

Angela and KJ worked hard to make sure that everyone’s belly were stuffed and their cocktail glasses overflowing. They’ve been planning this for awhile. We feel awfully special especially with everyone’s generosity. Thanks to everyone from Ryan for spinning to Tim for lending his Tiki Bar. Finally, for all you sexy people that made it a blast!

This wedding anticipation is getting hectic! It’s like where do I go with this full bladder!

Savor the Favor

We decided to do away with the favor sector of the wedding. I mean is it just me or are favors just a waste of money? Sure it’s a “short-lived” token of appreciation, and I appreciate the gesture. But refrigerator magnets, bubbles in a bottle, photoframes, or paper weights goes against the grain of my lifestyle. I like to cut the clutter in my house down to a minimum, even so I'm still a pack rat. I’ve tried to hang on to this special momentos, but I feel that I don’t know where to put them.

So one day, Shane comes home from hangin' with his boyz'ndagolf tour, and he expresses how he was taken aback by a wedding on the golf course. At first, I was like, is he coming down with a fever? I mean come on a wedding on a golf course? Yikes, talk about creepy!

As he and his buddies golfed, he noticed that the guests at this wedding ceremony held Chinese parasols. His eyes bulged out of his head when he expressed at how cool it looked. The consistency. The solidarity. For the first time, he had input. Real and tangible! The parasols would be fantastic with the red Chinese lanterns! As his blabbing continued in the back of my head, I was convinced by my theory: if you don’t coerce or corner someone into task, they will eventually come around.

Japanese Proverb: Art is the illusion of spontaneity.

This is Shellie's stomach growling for some dim sum, back to you Bob at the studio.

Love is Huge!

I have been Dr. Frankenstein when it comes to planning this wedding. Hacking and sawing away at this monster that woman call a wedding. As the whirlpool of wedding plans spins on the fast cycle, I would like to direct your attention to...

Chinese Proverb: Donkey's lips do not fit onto a horse's mouth.

Shane has been an absolute dream. Sure he's a golf fiend, a sport psychopath (well not as bad as Greg Moore), and an obsessive compulsive disorder. That's just as bad as it gets! Yes, what a real dick right? He is candid, but not terse. He holds no ill will, even towards people that get off on spite. He is fair in compromising, but not a pushover. I thank the gods for working their magic. In fact, I would like to thank his parents for having sex! Cheers to Colleen and the Duke. For they have raised a really topnotch individual.

I have never met anyone who was so selfless. He would give his shirt off his back to help people out. He has taught me the tact of kindness. He always looks on the upside of things. I mean he's not a saint, but he's got goody goodness.

He has sensed tears as they slowly streamed down the side of my face with my back facing him on the other side of our queen size bed at two thirty in the morning. Yes, underneath my calloused and cynical outlook on life, I am human. Even then, in my attempts to conceal my down times, he senses subtle things like the switch in rhythym of my breathing. Instantly, he awakens from the depths of sleep to wrap me in his arms to protect me from the things that break me. Mind you he sleeps deeper than a bear in hibernation.

I wanted to shine the spotlight on him, because it's not all about me. Oops did I just say that? It is he that makes me all warm fuzzy and happy inside. I can go on and on about Shane that might be considered slander. I wouldn't want his boy buddies to think that he was a sensitive and considerate fruit rollup. So, I'll stop here for now and maybe some day you'll get to experience his kindness. Sigh, but I'm certain that friends and family has been exposed to his graciousness.

This is Shellie covering Bob as he is on vacation --swirling two fingers in the peanut butter jar and ready to down a glass of warm milk, bidding you good nuggen!

Shortness of Logic

I have managed to land a job a week before leaving. Another reason to celebrate...in addition, I have committed to training up to the day prior to departure. Why did I do that? What am I crazy? Out of all the ample time needed, it would be the last and final week of leaving for our trip. I can name a list of “Things to do” that is developing into a brain panic.

Nope, I had to be a team player, a corporate pushover, a professional person that conveys commitment. What was I thinking?

Panic. Heart palpations. Panic. Shortness of breath. Hyperventilate. Room getting smaller, darker…

Holding on tight...to my name

I can't believe the days are drawing near to my fatality. Gone is my last name, because "hyphenations" in plain english sucks! Besides, I don't have the heart to have our future (if god permit) children to go through life with the last name like Cadelinia-Kitchen, talk about child abuse. Boy do I love my last name and I can't seem to give it up! My last name is ethnic and full of five syllables. But for the sake of tradition, coming from an untraditional person, I feel men pride themselves on furnishing their last name onto their wife, "Me man. You Jane. You come marry, we hump and you take my last name. Grrr."

What I won't miss is having to spell my marathon of a name to make a reservation, or email, or other menial tasks. Now, I can simply say, "Kitchen. Yes, kitchen as in: if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." My last name will bewilder people, like how in the hell did any human being get that last name? In fact, it bewilders me! I think I'll grow into it like a foot in a shoe. Imagine, if I was still cooking in a restaurant, my co-workers would think I legally changed my name for vanity purposes. But c'mon, wouldn't Cucina be sweet?

Anyway, I'm not picky. I'm just holding on to my birth right until it is abdicated from me.

This is Shellie Cadelinia hanging from the limb of her roots back to you Bob at the Studio.

Home sweet home

Move from large house to cozy one bedroom successful! It's amazing how much useless crap I accumulate over time. Are quirky momentos like corks of a stellar wine that I enjoyed in the wine country with Shane under a sunny, but brisk saturday back in June 2003 worth the space and memory? My inquiring mind wants to know.

I have become a professional when it comes to moving, I think most anyone are unable to relate to my nomadic nature...not by choice, of course. Especially moving from a house into an apartment takes careful consideration. Simplicity and essential a two key elements. It's difficult to be selective as a necessity.

All in all, I have learned that regardless of a large house or a comfortable apartment, it has always been "home" especially living with someone that I love and adore.

I would like to thank the academy and Anthony Minniti for moving out of his apartment just so we had a place to stay. Minniti you are a sweet heart :)

Eye am Lazy

I boggle the astrologers. I defy all characteristics of a Virgo. I am a hardworker when I need to be, but do I really have to clean? Yes, I am lazy. When they said opposites attract that’s where the truth rear it’s ugly head. Shane is neat, accurate and a perfectionist. I get exhausted just thinking of cleaning the house. My resolution to a clean house is a maid. Throw in a butler and that would be perfection!

The reason I vent, is that we are moving. Those dust dinosaurs are just everywhere! Growing and multiplying! Gross! As you may know by now, I am far from a perfectionist when it comes to certain things. I am a Virgo, but I do not possess virgo traits. I’m a down syndrome virgo, lacking the proper traits to form me into an anal, accurate perfectionado.

This is Shellie backed in a corner by the zoo of dust monsters, back to you Bob at the studio!

Butt did you say?

Can't touch this KJ!!

I tour around the world,
from London to the Bay
It's Hammer
Yo Hammer
MC Hammer
Yo Hammer
And the rest can go and play
Can't touch this!

Slugger!

The two flats went on the market and our unit is now sold! Sold! Yes, to the gentleman and the gentle lady in the 2005 4 Door BMW X5. Life is good! Stressful, but grand! I mean what can I say? Never turn your butt cheek to an opportunity that brings sunshine to your future. We would especially like to thank the infamous Uncle John and Aunt Naira for investing their time, knowledge, expertise and trust into Shane “Cobain” Kitchen.

In privy to the profitable situation, we are moving to a former apartment in Noe Valley. I must stress that Shane is really working hard to make this move a smooth one. I am glad that he is the proactive one in this relationship. Me, I’m a slug; slow, lethargic a little lazylike. Please keep all salt snacks away from yours truly.

Subsequent to this move, my high blood pressure should stabilize and we can proceed further to the finish line.