Mumms the word...

"B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" The cotton candy pop tune blarred through the white stretch limousine as everyone sang along and shook our tushie. As I looked out the window, the sun's rays began to slowly peel the horizon orange. My heart stopped! Gasp! I've never been up this late in years! There was a moment in my junior year in high school. As my parents thought I was at a sleepover at Maize's, instead I watched the sun rise on the bus home from Gene Luvs Jezebel concert in Waikiki. This was different, because it wasn't a sneak. I felt resilient! I felt alive! We were here for one reason and that was to make sure we partied our farces off!

The late night Las Vegas equaled David Lynch. It all felt staged. I wouldn't have flinched, if a band of jibberish midgets came riding through the corridors on the backs of miraclegro rabbits through the corridors at 3am! How can I sum up Las Vegas? Two syllables “carny.” The carnivorously aggressive men pawed at the female flesh and the women in their lack of clothes attire purred cool as cats. I succumbed to the swarm of lights, the pulse of luck in the casinos, the drunken clowns that stumbled through mirrored hallways. Like a rat in a cage, I think we were part of some psychological experiment unknown to us. My first experience in the city of sin was pretty fresh and McNasty.

The army of bachelorette parties marched in veils and accessorized with inflatable penis. Puke on me mother Mary, not me! I am thankful that my girls was not about to sell my dignity for a penis necklace. Phew! I must admit the magic of being the bachelorette got us into the a few VIP crevices.

I wanted to thank Lola for all of her hard work in coordinating this event. I really appreciate her initiative in making this trip a memorable one. On the same note, I would like to thank Indigo, Felicia, Lola, Benicia a.k.a. Cameron Diaz, Chinchilla a.k.a. Carmen Electra, Saucy, Aussex, Bridgette and Scarlett. Thanks for making my last days as a singleton an especially wild one!

This is Shellie coming from the confession booth committed to 7 Hail Mary’s and 3 Our Fathers, back to you Bob at the studio.