I'm washing my hands clean of this :)

I’m handling the current situation pretty darn smooth. Beside the fact that the house is currently on the market and we have to move out probably in two weeks; the 1001 cranes aren’t done yet; my dad’s up in arms about the wedding being on Kauai; my dress remains in alteration; outstanding RSVP cards; need to lose about 10 lbs; and the wedding is five weeks out; I think I’m handling it all like a freaken champ. I haven’t broken out in a rash yet, so that’s just great!

I may not be fit, but I will survive.

This is Shellie a victim of the alliance and getting voted off the island, back to you Bob at the studio.

Sigh!

I would like to sing praise to Jeanine of Eden West Wedding www.edenwestweddings.com. God bless this angel who is just a dream come true. A woman who has never questioned my vision, on the contrary, she is motivated about the wedding.

A month and a half ago, I psychotically pulled my hair from my scalp, because my previous wedding coordinator did not have anything set in stone. I finally figured out that this was not normal and unprofessional. So I began surfing the internet and like magic “poof” she appeared before me. By the next day, she had created a website with the timeline, details and cost of the wedding.

Jeanine is classy at best and efficient, to say the least. It’s nice to work with someone that follows through and actually knows what she's talking about. If it wasn’t for her, I think I’d conceived 30 different personalities topped off with turret syndrome. God bless the mother that gave birth to this woman!

This is Shellie from the center of the turret parade hissing and cussing at all the fussing back to you --f*cken, crap, bite me--Bob at the Studio.

Happy 49th Anniversary Mom and Dad!!!!

Today is a very momentous day. It is with immense love in my heart to announce that today is mom and dad's 49th wedding anniversary. I think I just felt my heart skip!

They’re marriage is perfect, because they’ve endured difficulties that life catapulted their way. It’s been a journey for them, and I can’t fathom. Dad worked in tortuous heat with calloused hands for the hawaii sugar plantation and mom made sure home was sweet. She was on her hands and knees in the garden, on her feet as she hung clothes on the line, cooked and cleaned. Between the garden and livestock, they made sure their 10 children had food on the table, roof over our head, and clothes on our back.

As the years go by, it saddens me that they are getting old. The only wish that I have is good health so they can bubble in the richness of their love. As I look back now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. They bestowed the value of pride, hardwork and patience which no one can seize from me.

Mom and dad, you are the sun that rises in my east and may you forever be part of my day as I hope to walk in the footsteps of your shadow. Happy 49th wedding anniversary. You are in my thoughts, my heart, and my veins.

This is Shellie from the hearth of her heart back to you Bob at the Studio.

Ode to all my cutie pies!!

Yeh! Yahoo! Yippee! My nephews and niece from California will be attending our wedding. I’m overwhelmed with joy. Before I get sucked into the blackhole of the wedding, I wanted to embrace my appreciation for my siblings. How they have gone out of their way to shift schedules to make it to our wedding. For as much as we are engrossed in our social activities, this is HUGE! This is an expensive event, and I wanted to convey --from the depths my heart--that I am loved. If I hadn’t mentioned it yet, this means the absolute world to me! It fills my heart with ooze, I know yuck right?

I would like to underline the exquisiteness of their presence. The nieces and nephews are sprouting like weeds. It wrecks me when they develop a personality and gradually become their own individual. It’s just a selfish thing, because it just makes me feel decrepitly old. The worst was when the eldest nephew left for college. Gulp. Talk about elderly, I distinctly remember when he was born. I was in the eighth grade.

I would like to shine the light on my favorite people; my family, because to put it plainly, I wouldn’t be anything without them. All is good in Shellie’s world.

Mumms the word...

"B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" The cotton candy pop tune blarred through the white stretch limousine as everyone sang along and shook our tushie. As I looked out the window, the sun's rays began to slowly peel the horizon orange. My heart stopped! Gasp! I've never been up this late in years! There was a moment in my junior year in high school. As my parents thought I was at a sleepover at Maize's, instead I watched the sun rise on the bus home from Gene Luvs Jezebel concert in Waikiki. This was different, because it wasn't a sneak. I felt resilient! I felt alive! We were here for one reason and that was to make sure we partied our farces off!

The late night Las Vegas equaled David Lynch. It all felt staged. I wouldn't have flinched, if a band of jibberish midgets came riding through the corridors on the backs of miraclegro rabbits through the corridors at 3am! How can I sum up Las Vegas? Two syllables “carny.” The carnivorously aggressive men pawed at the female flesh and the women in their lack of clothes attire purred cool as cats. I succumbed to the swarm of lights, the pulse of luck in the casinos, the drunken clowns that stumbled through mirrored hallways. Like a rat in a cage, I think we were part of some psychological experiment unknown to us. My first experience in the city of sin was pretty fresh and McNasty.

The army of bachelorette parties marched in veils and accessorized with inflatable penis. Puke on me mother Mary, not me! I am thankful that my girls was not about to sell my dignity for a penis necklace. Phew! I must admit the magic of being the bachelorette got us into the a few VIP crevices.

I wanted to thank Lola for all of her hard work in coordinating this event. I really appreciate her initiative in making this trip a memorable one. On the same note, I would like to thank Indigo, Felicia, Lola, Benicia a.k.a. Cameron Diaz, Chinchilla a.k.a. Carmen Electra, Saucy, Aussex, Bridgette and Scarlett. Thanks for making my last days as a singleton an especially wild one!

This is Shellie coming from the confession booth committed to 7 Hail Mary’s and 3 Our Fathers, back to you Bob at the studio.