Hanky Panky

South Beach took a lot from me and left me with one brain cell. It was a blast! In fact, fun just doesn’t cut it. It was much more than that! It was madness and insanity all curled into a fruit rollup.

Despite the hairy flight there, I was fine. According to Sophia, I had it good. She sat next to a drunk that absolutely made the mistake of distinguishing alcohol for oxygen. I had Angela to keep my paranoia from racing. Regardless of the weather buildup and the turbulence, I managed to land in Miami with nervous sweaty underpants.

Miami greeted us with dark gray skies equipped with 35 mph winds and warm pelting rain. I think her name was Hurricane Eileen. I myself was never certain with weather forecasts. I never believed in’em. So as the forecasters predicted hurricane, wind and rain for the next four days, my inside voice called, “bullshit.”

The next morning the sun peeked it’s beautiful head through the skies and let down it’s golden mane. I got on my knees and worshipped. The sun is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Oh god, have I mentioned the ocean? It wasn't Hawaii, but it was damn close.

I roomed with Angela and Meghan which made the vacation even much more of a comedy delight. The pleasantries of stuffing pork rinds at 330am in bed was anticlimactic, it was quite satisfying. Honestly, I've never laughed so much in my life. I had my stuffed monkey tucked safe on the bed. I had a framed picture of Shane on the nightstand. C’mon, I needed a little guilt to look me in the eye, before I got some shuteye.

All 18 women were amazing. I met some really cool people. I was frightful at first. 18 women? Who wouldn’t be? Does Sassy, Saucy, Estrogen make your heart stutter? I was deathly afraid until I met each and everyone one of these women. Sure, I don't recall half of their names, but I do remember having a mischeviously tip top time!

I’ll leave all the lewd behavior to your imagination. Just think 18 women in South Beach for a bachelorette party. I must admit there is nothing angelic about it.

Stay tuned for Shellie’s upcoming bachelorette party in Las Vegas on July 8, 2005.

This is Shellie reminding all you ladies to cross your legs back to you Bob at the studio.