Foiled Again

The past three days has been Groundhog’s day. Shane keeps pushing the button on the wedding plans, “Where’s the checklist? We don’t have the menu set yet? How about the priest or minister? What’s up with the location? What’s up with the wedding coordinator? What’s her fee? Hey, who’s our ring bearer?” Blah, blah, blah, these repeated inquiries are like steeltoe boots hurling at me from all directions. My response is always the same, “no.” The lava in my veins flow and bubble slow and thick into my arteries.

Italian Proverb: If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.

His sudden interest in the wedding plans gnaws at my eyeballs. It’s preposterous! He should have been curious six months ago. Are you kidding me? I would have enjoyed sharing these magic moments with him. I don’t mind the random questions and concerns. How dare he pull a Mr. Rip Van Winkle on me. Shah don’t think so! I eagerly handed the responsibilities over to him. Way to take charge!

See here’s the schmutzah, since I’ve known Shane everything has been done for him. He doesn’t book his vacations, his friends are glad to help with the hotel, car, flight; the entire itinerary. He refuses to see a barber. If you wanna get really absurd, his friends trimmed his dome, short for hair, for the past ten years. He’s the type that will be there just provide the date and time.

I mean no harm or slander, he’s by far not spoiled, he simply relies on others for details. I can hear him loud and clear as he shrugs his shoulder and boasts, “I’ve never booked anything before, my friends just do it for me?” This man has simply slipped through the past 12 years blind to details. This is how people become illiterate and inept. Not this year sister, this puppy's getting housebroken, because this here pup ain't pissing on this here floor no more.

This is Shellie Cadelinia praying her 10 Our Father(s) and 5 Hail Mary(s) back to you bob Bob in the Studio.