Embrace the Monstrosity

Like a zit, this obstacle protruded it's ugly head. Once again, I'm sucked into the undertow.

Since working in the kitchen, I couldn't afford to breath; hence, fly to Kauai. In great desperation, my wedding coordinator checked out my wedding location. Guess what? The location is basically a joke. A thumbs down! A farce. Aargh.

I have to start from scratch! Literally! So I scrambled around on the internet for a wedding reception location, like a skitzophrenic breaking loose from the mental hospital. The first real estate agent I phone, has a vacation home that will allow weddings. This house is in Anahola, on the East Side of the island. Definitely prettier than the last location.

I felt like that dog in Pavlov's experiment. Instead of salivating, I felt physically and mentally abused. Resolution turns into skepticism which results in sweating, cowering and foaming at the mouth. Rabies anyone?

Repercussion? Yes, the reconstruction of my guests' accomodations. Talk about pissed. I'm embarassed! Most of all, frustrated. Anyway. Breath. Exhale. Alright. Everythings okay. I think. Serenity? Maybe later. Phew!

If things couldn't get any darker, I called home and my older brother proceeded to give me a talking to i.e. give me shit. He had heard through the grapevine that I hired a coordinator. He was insulted that I didn't extend my madness to one of my family members. As if? I am at constant guilt when it comes to asking family for favors. It's true, my cathol guilt runs deep. Gulp. Or just maybe I've exhausted my "get out of jail free" card. I'm one of those family members that are more of a burden than a joy a.k.a. pain in the ass.

Than my brother further proceeds that I'm asking for too much when it comes to my wedding. It's not like I requested hybrid tea roses in the perfect hue of rasberry fuscia with a diameter no larger than 5 centimeters. Even better, I'm not releasing a thousand butterflies specially shipped from africa to be released into the wild so they can destroy the eco-system on the island. Although we were contemplating whether or not to fly Cirque D'Soleil performers in for the wedding. Psyche!

All we want is a simple beach wedding alongwith great food and booze? Most importantly, we are just hoping to establish unforgettable memories. We are more worried about our family and friends enjoying their stay at the wedding. Our friends and family from the mainland (flying in from farther distances), to say the least, is completely ecstatic to be coming to the wedding. On the other hand, I feel like my family feels inconvenienced by the outer island travel. I am completely sideways. Topsy Turvy, if you will. Head Hurts. Make. It stop.

So all in all, it's been a bad day. Isn't it funny how family members can be the most crucial, just because they can? I feel that things happen for a reason, and I was meant to have a beautiful beach wedding. The price I pay for this simple want is the usual restless night chasing after shadows, catching them and naming them. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

This is Shellie bringing her tangent to a close, I bid you adieu.