Colorblind

The wedding date and location is making a chomp out of me. I chose the wedding date, regardless of everyone's concerns. Remember? Previously, I was so fed up about everyone's do's and don'ts that I just did.

What sucks is...four of my nephews, whom I love dearly, won't be attending. You know, because of school. A stab in my heart. I always thought that the people that were most important to me, would be there come alien domination or world peace.

It makes me think that my wedding is insignificant. In fact, it is a true reflection that the world doesn't revolve around me. Godamnit, it should, on my wedding day.

On this one day, I truly wish they could miss a couple days of homework just to be there. This is a one day event. A once in a lifetime. Should children be given a choice? Truly, should they be allowed a decision? I am not a parent (god forbid), but you'd better bet your tonsils that I would drag my kids (by the their hair, if they were putting up a fight)to a relatives wedding, kickin' and draggin'. These are memories that is forever. School work is something you makeup. You can always makeup your test scores and homework. You can't duplicate memories.

I thought I was prepared for the repercussions, when I went forth with the date. My theory was that in everyones' heart of hearts, will be there. My own family can't afford to be in Kauai. I just feel in a knot about things. Shane made a good point. What would my family do, if it was in San Francisco, New York, Costa Rica? Would my family afford it than? If the shoe was on the other foot, we would do it for any of our loved ones come hell, wind and highwater.

I should accept it for what it is. I am just thankful that everyone that can be there, will be there.

Just sometimes it hits me. I'm human. I have a pulse. It hurts.