Heartattack vs. Headache

How do you get a guy to get movin? Really? Should I place him on bended knee and whip his butt until it's absolutely black and blue? Should I forcefully have his eyes pried open with razor fingertips and scream absolute reason till I pass out? If you know the answer, please let me in on the secret.

Shane has not asked the special selected people to be in his wedding party yet. His bachelor party in New Orleans is coming together nicely. His Las Vegas plans for Kurt's bachelor party is piecing together pleasantly. Finally, his golf soiree the wednesday prior to the wedding in Kauai is absolutely perfect.

While Shane's plans are coming together, I'm falling apart with worry. He has not asked his selected ushers to be in his wedding. It is in my nature to procrastinate, but he is not allowed the same leisure. Is it viable for a couple to be procrastinators?

I fear that my heart is filled with sheer jealousy, because Shane's barely lifted a finger, yet everything is coming together on his end. This jealousy is going to my head, because I am being looped around in circles and knots to make this wedding a success.

This is Shellie Cadelinia from the center of her ulcered belly. Bob, back to you in the studio.